The Tale of Sir Riley the Fearless

The greatest weapon in war is fear. It is why armies rattle their swords in battle. It is why soldiers march to the beat of drums. It is why blacksmiths make armor shaped like fearsome monsters. It’s why hot sauce has scary names like Wyvern Venom and Dragon Breath. Strike fear in your enemy and the battle is already won. Hear now the tale of Sir Riley the Fearless. Also known as Sir Riley the Foolish. According to legend, Sir Riley was born without the ability to feel fear. As a babe, he would play with dangerous snakes and climb treacherous cliffs and scared his poor parents to no end. He accepted any dare no matter how foolish. When others fled or cowered, Sir Riley stood in curious wonder.

Sir Riley served in the army of his king and because he never ran from combat, Sir Riley rose quickly in rank and fame. One day, Sir Riley and his army were sent to fight some other army over some tiny piece of land. It was a small thing but when nobles quarrel, it is always the soldiers who lose their heads. Regardless of the idiocy of his mission, Sir Riley went willingly and happily to battle. After a day or two of marching, the army came across a haunted forest. The forlorn trees were filled with fog, cobwebs, glowing red eyes, and other nasty stuff. The army took one look and decided that they would rather walk around it. That is everyone except Sir Riley. The fastest way to the battle was through the forest and Sir Riley saw no good reason to avoid it.

No matter what his friends or even his commanding officers said, no matter how strong they urged, no matter how much they pleased, Sir Riley decided to go through the haunted forest by himself. He would meet the army on the other side. Sir Riley left the army and strode confidently into the haunted woods.

The forest was unnaturally quiet as if holding its breath. Sir Riley filled the silence with a marching song. Glowing eyes watched him from the shadows. Sir Riley waved his fingers at them. Darkness began to fall over the trees as Sir Riley came across an old abandoned house. He decided it would be the perfect place to camp for the night.

As he lay down sleep, a hideous moan rose from the darkness. Sir Riley told the voice to be silent. He was trying to sleep. The noise stopped and a severed head rolled into the fire light. Sir Riley calmed picked it up and tossed it into the fireplace. Throughout the night, the evil spirits and ghosts of the wood tried all manner of things to scare Sir Riley but nothing worked. Sir Riley merely laughed them away. Just before dawn, Sir Riley felt a hand shake his shoulder. He yawned and turned and saw a cloaked figure standing in the center of the room.

“Now what do you want?” groaned Sir Riley. “You spirits have made such a racket all night that I didn’t sleep a wink.” Sir Riley noticed that the cloaked figure was floating a few inches above the ground but he decided not to say anything in case it might be rude.

“You do not fear us,” whispered a voice as thin and scratchy as a dry blade of grass.

“No. I fear nothing,” said Sir Riley in his usual chipper voice. He began to collect his things as light started to peak through the window. Sir Riley was tired and annoyed.

“You are indeed a mighty warrior,” intoned the voice. “We wish to give you a gift. Please, take it and go.”

Sir Riley looked up and the figure was gone. He sighed and was glad for a moment peace and quiet. Just as he was about to walk out the door he noticed a magnificent black sword lying where the figure had floated. It looked like a strong weapon. Sir Riley picked it. He liked its weight. He liked the way it shimmered when he swung it. He took the sword. Sir Riley left the cabin and once again continued his walk through the woods. The following day when his army finally arrived at the battleground, Sir Riley was waiting for them. He told them his tale and showed them the gift of the sword. His friends laughed at his story and at the silly ghosts who tried to scare the brave Sir Riley. Meanwhile, the generals from both armies agreed that it was far too late for a battle and that they would fight the next day.

Sir Riley and his army made their camp. That night, every soldier in Sir Riley’s army suffered from horrible, terrifying, deathly nightmares. The kind of nightmares that can drive a man mad. Everyone that is except Sir Riley. He was so tired that he slept through the night as soundly as a babe. When Sir Riley awoke the next morning, he found his camp completely abandoned. Not a single soldier but him remained. They had all run away during the night. However, Sir Riley was still not afraid. He would still do his duty. That morning, Sir Riley the Fearless marched against an enemy army all by himself and was promptly killed.

And the moral of this story: Fear can break a man but a little healthy fear can keep a man from acting the fool.”

The Tale of Sir Riley the Foolish – As told by Sorren Fellwright Traveling Bard